A little history and my first attempt at a song

I went back to school after a fifteen year break last fall. It was more than a little intimidating to begin again knowing that I will now likely always be one of the oldest students in class. Fun fact: I was one whole year younger than my first professor. Humbling to say the least. While many of my classmates juggle their schedules with part-time jobs and social lives, I have a balancing act of intermixing my studies with my own children's homework, bedtime stories and childhood fevers. New beginnings are always scary, and staring down years of part-time classes to an unknown end goal is no different.

I always saw myself a college-graduate. I was a straight-A, honor role kind of kid. My teenage years left me a little worse for the wear, though. While my peers headed off to universities and sorority houses, money saved for my college experience went to 30-day treatment centers instead. After that, attending a top-rated 'party school' no longer seemed like a wise choice. The alternate path found me married by 22, raising one baby by 26 and another a short 18 months later. The clock ticked on as I was busy building a life, so here I am, a woman in her mid-thirties, beginning again.

I'm taking a creative writing course this semester. It is, in fact, the inspiration for this blog. Our experiment this week was to write a song. While I love lyrics and music, the only songs I've ever composed have been for the sole entertainment of my children, only note-worthy to them for their use of the word 'poop' or some other equally easy toddler laugh. So in the spirit of yet another scary new beginning, this is my first attempt at something a little more adult and relevant. Here goes nothing...

Verse:
Where do you sleep?
It's 3am and I'm wide awake.
I toss and I turn,
Unable to bear the sound of heartbreak.

Does the moon still shine?
No sliver of light reflects in my eyes.
Here by myself,
Tangled in sheets and tangled in lies.

Pre-Chorus:
There's no rest in this room and no where to go.
We started together but ended alone.
Was it all a dream? This life that we made
Turned to a nightmare in the place where we laid.

Chorus:
Here I am in the dark,
Chasing the shadows within my head.
Our silence made us strangers
And now I'm a whore inside my own bed.
Inside my own bed.

Verse:
How did we end up here?
Tears stain the pillows where we used to laugh.
It all seemed so bright
Somehow this journey turned to an unlit path.

Now these questions remain
Unsure what to do, don't know who to trust.
I'm afraid of the dark
In becoming a me, no longer an us.

Pre-Chorus:
There's no rest in this room and no where to go.
We started together but ended alone.
Was it all a dream? This life that we made
Turned to a nightmare in the place where we laid.

Chorus:
Here I am in the dark,
Chasing the shadows within my head.
Our silence made us strangers
And now I'm a whore inside my own bed.
Inside my own bed.